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Ashley. 16. ASB President @ MMHS. I practically live at school.
insta: asssssshhhhhh // twitter: @ASHbajet

why am i sober on a saturday night?

how to fix yourself if u r unhappy or confused or both

symptoms: you live your life listening to people say “think of the happy thoughts”, but we reached the point where the happy thoughts are in the past. things have changed and it’s not where it was, and you can’t change anything about that anymore. it just leaves you wondering if someone else can make you happy, or if this is all you’re gonna get, really. it leaves you wondering if you’re sane or not for not being happy with someone who loves you so much. you’re just unsure if you’ve really loved them this whole time or it was all in your head that you have some sick fantasy television romance. all the unsureness and questionable insanity starts to make your head heavy. you’re unsure if you really truly want someone to pick up your dust. it leaves you wondering if it’s a phase that you just need to give time to, but it keeps you up at night, under a warm blanket of anxiety and confusion. 

but you realize that you’re unhappy. with or without them. it leaves burn scars on your chest where they used to lay their heads. you realize that all that optimism is completely foolish.

solution: the only person that could fix you is yourself, in that case. 

p.s. still trying to figure out how to fix myself. i’ll let you know when i do.

I want you.
Right now.
Your lips on mine.
Your hands around my waist.
My lips on your neck.
My hands running through your hair.
Heavy breaths.
Deep stares.
I want you.
Right now.
In my bed.
Right next to me.
Holding me tight.
Talking about anything.
Gentle kisses in between thoughts.
Our tired eyes holding contact.
Slowly falling asleep.